Hyde Behind It ?

people_are_two_sided__editorial_illustration__by_desmondchen-da2aizuI heard a crash from the back room. It startled me so that I sat up boldly with slob on my face and matter in my eyes. Voices erupted and lights flickered on in the early morning. I rejected reentering my sleep state so I watched the scene unfold. As popcorn popped, the elevation of voices continued to disrupt sleep of those around me. We sat and stared, not unfamiliar to what was happening until we were yanked from the beds and instructed to get out. We moved carefully, trying to find socks and shoes in the cluttered rabbit hole. He grew eery with our movements and decided to unconventionally move the process along. He filled bags with clothes and flung miscellaneous junk around aimlessly. He gathered papers, leaving a few in halves on the dewed lawn. To see the anger unleashed yet again was triggering something in me. My eyes were beginning to go from clear to cloudy. Then more slurs filled the air.

The main star of this story (He) is my dad. An aries, leading a gemini lifestyle. The Gemini in him was manipulative. Jealous. Aggressive. Typical Hyde. As an Aries,  he was funny. Social. Generous. Jekyll, of course. I didn’t ever really know who I would get sometimes. For the second time this summer, I’ve gotten Hyde.

It was last night or rather this morning, I witnessed that Hyde had come back from his monthly vacation. I had just got in from an evening gossip session with my cousins. I was happy. But when I walked into the apartment, I was compelled with confusion as I saw my mother and two brothers on the couch instead of the bed. My father was rambling about some clothes and telling me to signal my cousin before she left. However, I was instructed by my mom to ignore his request because it was just one of his ignorant acts. After a few minutes I realized I had walked into a danger zone and I had no instructions on how to protect myself.

My mind was elsewhere while everything was happening. I had work in 9 hours and I needed at least 3 to prepare. Being that I was soled in food and water, I tried to wash my work clothes for the next day.  There was no dryer or washer so I had to go old school.. This involved the bathroom sink, soap and water. However while I was in the process of scrubbing, the power went out. Not really. My dad turned off the generator. I told him what I was trying to do and he ignored me. I yelled at the top of my lungs for him to cut the lights back on. No reply. I only had 4% on my phone but I spent the next few minutes using my flashlight to scrub the dirtiness from my clothing. Then I realized that I was being stupid and I turned the power back on myself. Not surprised, it went back off after 5 minutes.

I said in my mind earlier when this took place that I couldn’t forgive yet another hateful doing. I said this was the last straw and I was glad to be leaving home next week so I could avoid behavior like this. But I went against my words. I forgave like usual. I wanted to share this experience not to be disrespectful or bash my dad but to ask a question: How does God instruct us to honor thy mother and thy father when they do things like this ? When they steal from their own children ? When they destroy ? When they let aggression from their partner affect how they treat their children ? And how can we as children and products of God continuously forgive ?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s