Think back to your first job.. How old were you ? How did you go about filling out the application WITHOUT experience ? What position did you apply for ? As a young adult, this was a big step right ? What made you do it? Did you just want to work and make your own money? Did you do it to get people off your back?
Employment for me was something I always thought about but never acted on… at least not until I felt like I had no other choice. I could have started working at 16 like a lot of my other classmates but there was always that thought of messing up. “What if I give them the wrong amount of change? What if I don’t take their orders correctly?”
What if I ? What if I ? What if I ?
And there’s that kryptonite again.. My fear of not performing well. And it wasn’t just with the jobs .. It was with school and the military and extracurriculars. Everything I wanted to try.. Every opportunity I had… was passed up because I used my fear for crutch.
Have you ever had to present something.. A speech, a lesson plan, anything ? You write out your best points on paper and everything sounds perfect. You know the material backwards and forwards. You don’t need the paper because you know you’re more than capable to deliver the message but you bring your paper to the podium anyway. You open your mouth to speak and before you start, you look out at the sea of faces. What happens next you ask? Oh.. well you read. From the paper.
Does that sound about right ? Well it happened to me too. It’s actually happened throughout my whole life. I knew what I wanted, I prepared myself to be ready, but too much of that over thinking and I was playing the safe card. I stood back and watched others move their chess pieces forward while I stuck to a checkerboard.
So have I missed out on plenty opportunities because of this ? Yeah most definitely. But will I start to perform without the paper ? Absolutely. It’s not always easy putting yourself out there and taking a chance regardless of how the coin may flip but it’s worth it. And so what if you mess up ? Life is messed up.. Really it is. So just go for it. Your dreams. That job. That event. Don’t let fear be your crutch.